I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
