Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
two words...techno handjob
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize