Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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