So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
