I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
