I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
