guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
