I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
