wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
