i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i love accidental penises.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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