I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
