If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
