her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize