If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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