It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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