ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
