Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize