if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
