I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize