actually, I'm a sock model
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it was like eating out sand paper
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
