She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
