You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
