So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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