i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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