I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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