Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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