i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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