my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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