Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
