Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
