I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
