Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
