There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
