Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he puts the penis in happiness.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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