Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
