Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
