I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
