Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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