operation have a gay friend backfired
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
