I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
