Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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