Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
