did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
