how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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