I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
