You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
