Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
