The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
