How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
