fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize