i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
