Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
