So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
