honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
