dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Houston, we have a squirter
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
