I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
this will be a night to untag.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
