I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
