True but thats because hes a fetus.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize