I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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