I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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