Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
