So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
