when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
