So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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