before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
