In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
