Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
