Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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