Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Drunk is not a location!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
