I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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