he wants to bone in the snuggie
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
