so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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