Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize