Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Who put my cat in the fridge?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
