Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
