Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
