Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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