Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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